Kitchen Sink
Words and music by Jenn Lindsay

I think I know what started it all
I went nuts on you last fall.
I surprised you, surprised me
The first time in years you didnít recognize me.
I tried hard to make you stay
I ruined it by trying to make it okay.
When you left I didnít know what to do
Didnít know what I wanted, only wanted you
I stood in my closet and screamed into my clothes
Screamed into my pillow till I hurt my throat.
I threw away your socks, put your pictures in a box,
I kept the banjo, and erased your songs
I didnít feel a feeling for months
I think that I was saved by shock.
I loved you dearly and for life
But I didnít know your rules and I couldnít read your mind

I gave you everything
But the kitchen sink
Now Iím giving you
What I really think

I froze my love and I preserved it
Because I thought that you deserved it
Back to the city to try again
Found your heart is still frozen.
It must have been all those years of breathing you in
That let you in deeper than anyone has ever been
I know it seems easy for me to open up
But not every man gains my trust.
If I could put your brain on
Iíd see you have a simple refrain on:
Stay away from what hurts.
Stay away if it takes work.
I know I act all strong and happy
I cover up, Iím busy and sunny
but losing you completely fucked me
I lost the one person that I needed to love me.
I lost my best friend too.
I lost the only one who knew
my parents and my body.
I lost your music and your whole family.
If you see me and I tell you Iím great,
Iím probably compensating cuz your silence feels like hate.
Go ahead and say that I was mean and pushy
Convince yourself you were oppressed and bullied
But I always did what I had to do
And I expected nothing less of you
And I gave you great sex and some pretty awesome presents
And some gorgeous songs and kick-ass letters
And all my love and all my patience
And all Iíve got left is that awful t-shirt.
How can you do it? Let me in
And kick me out like it never meant a thing?

I gave you everything
But the kitchen sink
Now Iím giving you
What I really think

Maybe I got what I deserved
Maybe I judge and I act the worst
Yes I know I dropped some balls
Do I strike you as a person who doesnít know her flaws?
I know myself: Iím not good enough.
Hope hurts bad! Hope is rough!
Iím afraid Iím gonna be alone
Iím afraid I wonít love like that again
If at first you donít succeed, try try again
Well it really sucks to try without my best friend
I know youíre scared and youíve got a lot to lose
but I am scared shitless too.
Iím not the only one who feels bad
(you hold the phone at arm's length)
I know the awful time youíve had
(your pauses clog the kitchen sink)
Other people know your life better
(there's a cake of soap in the bath for you)
But I still feel like weíre going through this together
(I pour coffee, I pour for two)
But youíre ruder to me than to anyone else
Because if you faced me youíd have to face yourself
I remind you of the jerk you can be
That is why you ignore me.
Would it kill you to check in with me
To call and check in about my family?
What do you get from shutting me out?
Do you think itís strong to close your heart?

I gave you everything
But the kitchen sink
Now Iím giving you
What I really think

I can tell you I miss you
(I have drawers that I leave closed)
It felt like a dream to kiss you.
(I have drawers that I leave closed)
Itís hard to find and hard to make it stay
But none of it matters if you push me away.
I want your body, I adore your mind
(you burned your face on my brain)
Isnít finding love the whole point of life?
(left fingerprints on my skin)
So I wasnít perfect the first time
(you cut out of me so fast)
Have you heard of learning and second tries?
(you never took the time to pack)
Why donít you think about how lucky you are
That someone so awesome loves you so hard?
That someone would lay on the tracks for you
Someone you miss and who you love too.
People hope their whole lives for what we had
People die never having felt what we did
I need someone who can take a good love
If he doesnít fight for it at least doesnít hide from it.
I hope you hear this and you get mad
I hope you get pissed and you fight back
Just donít roll over and play dead
Just remember what I said:

I will be so good to you baby
So good and hard for you baby
I will take care of you baby
If you will take care of me

I gave you everything
(my heart is my favorite part)
But the kitchen sink
Now Iím giving you
(it is strong it holds a lot)
What I really think
I gave you everything
But the kitchen sink
What are you gonna do
With what I really think